我剪了短发

因为身体健康出了一些问题，

所以最近发胖，也掉了很多头发。

我的发量大概掉了二分之一，

之前是三分之一，

很恐怖，

我知道。

每一天洗完头发的时候都有一堆头发掉了。

梳头后也一样。

为了不逐步变成光头，

我决定要把我的长发剪短。

好不舍得啊~~~

一头乌黑的长直发曾经是我的骄傲，

可是现在一切都不一样了。

看到我那白发吗？

以前都要找白发然后把它们拔掉，

现在不用找都随时随地随随便便的可以看到啊。

我只能告诉我自己，朋友说白发是智慧的象征啊！

不用界怀。

我当然知道她是一番好意，

可是现在的我只可以选择相信啊。

还有，还有，看我那肥肿难分的脸。。。

最近真的胖了。。。

还好短发没有我想像中的难看。

这张照片是在saloon刚吹完出来的，

第二天以后自己吹就没有这样的形状了。。。

装可爱一下下，

*哭哭*

好啦，其实对一些真的短发的人来说，我的头发还是可以算是长。

可是这已经算是我最可以接受的短度了，

因为太短的话，头发长到一个地步就会翘，

而且很难打理，

所以我和发型师说，剪到头发不会翘的短度就好了。

我没有那么多的时间吹头发啊~~~

长短发好了。。

勇气

我在FB看到一句有意思的话，

“你以为挑起生活的担子是勇气，

其实过自己真正想要的生活才需要勇气。”

我很认同。毕竟对我来说，要真的不管其他人说些什么而去追求自己真正想要过的生活所需要的是不一般的勇气。

无奈又有多少人会知道和了解呢?

以前的我，只要做了决定就会义无反顾的执行到底。

现在的我，做事都希望可以经过深思熟虑，不可轻易行动啊。

在衡量了一切所可以衡量的以后才做出决定。

其实这样有好，也有不好。

随着年龄的增长，我想这就是我有成长的地方了吧。

以前我爸很爱和我说，针没有两头利。

可是我就是很执著的要把另一头不利的针也要磨利的人。

久了以后发现，原来最累的人是自己。

所以现在很多时候，我都会提醒自己想任何事情的时候都要把自己纳入考量。

不要一味的先为其他人着想，因为有时候真的辛苦了自己，也不值得。

我希望我的人生还是可以以开心的过为主。

因为种种的经历让我觉得珍惜现在和活在当下才是人生最重要的。

当我遇到不如意的事情时，我也会尽量的提醒自己要正面一点的来面对。

毕竟还呼吸着才让我们有了要面对的事情啊。

********

FB最近有人post,说working and travel的lifestyle并不是reality,而是fantasy。

刚开始我认同，因为有些人只顾着想念那无忧无虑的生活形式而忽略了他们现在的生活。

接踵而来的就是因为无法面对在这里生活的“现实”生活而不断的埋怨现在的生活，

但是我想了一想上面的那一句话后，

我的看法不同了。

我想问写那篇文章的人，“你是谁？你凭什么说他们过的生活不是reality?

你听过subjective reality吗?”

我觉得只要在过着那生活形式的人才可以决定那是不是reality, 是天堂，还是fantasy.

不可以一竹竿打一船人。

归根究地还是个人的选择在作祟，还有现实，

如果你真的很想回去过着那一种你想要的生活的话，

那就拿出勇气/累积勇气与实力来得到那一切吧。

总比一直在讲而没有行动来得好吧。

Civilization and social responsibility

Living in a civilized society (I assumed I am),

I seriously think that we need to take good care of our own belongings to avoid causing troubles to the others, a classic example that I can think of range from the bystander effect to road use manners and vehicle maintenance. 

Some people just don't take care of their cars' road safety and drove their cars out without considering what troubles they might caused to the other road users. I don't care if it is financial issues or whatever other issues because it doesn't give them an excuse to cause trouble to the other road users! 

Please maintain your car's performance so that it doesn't broke down halfway causing a long traffic.

Especially those drivers who like to drive at a speed that's too slow following a fast lane. They are causing other road users time waste! I am not saying that you cannot drive slowly, but please drive at the correct lane according to your car's speed!

If we could think for the others, it would really make the world a better place to live in. 

Another incident that leads me to write this post was my visit to the cinema the other day. 

As we all know (I assumed), there are different warnings /age appropriate sign labelled to the films such as P13/P18.

The main purpose of the sign was to warn people/movie goers some contents in some films are inappropriate for viewers under the age of 13/15/18 years old. 

But what I saw the other day was a film labelled as P13, in TGV Kepong,

I have young children sitting next to and in front of me, 

I have children making noise wanting to eat popcorn and arguing about their seats. 

They were everywhere. 

Perhaps those parents/caregivers were not aware that the film was actually a P13 category. 

It was not the first time I encountered these types of situations since it happens almost every time I went for a movie. 

I can't blamed the workers there for not checking the age of the viewers when selling the tickets and at the entrance because everyone are busy and parents can buy the tickets for their children, right? 

*rollingeyes* 

But, parents? 

Aren't parents' responsibilities to educate their children? 

Although it seems that the society is changing and we are not really sure whose responsibility is that to educate children anymore.

*itissoobvioustomethatparentshavetheprimaryresponsibilitythough* 

But, if you parents chose to bring along your young kids (younger than the age limit), please be sure that they will not behave in a way that disturbs other movie goers.

I cannot control what and how you want to teach/educate your young children, but if you can't control them, it shows that you have poor social responsibility awareness because it disturbed the others in the same cinema. 

Yeah, of course I understand that there are young couples who would like to spend sometime together and re-experience your good old times and due to whatever life circumstances and unforeseen circumstances, no one else could help you to take care of your young children and children and you have to bring them along, 

but please do not use it as an excuse to put your burden onto the others.

Please remember that we live in a "civilized" society,

we should be responsible of our own conduct, please...

For those who do not silent their phones, I really have no words for them because they can't even follow a simple instruction with the ads showed right before the film starts. 

Perhaps they lived in their own fantasy world where people are super accommodating and can't hear their ringtones. 

关于工作

最近有开始感受到工作上的压力，

因为责任在增加，可是很多时候都有double standard的指示，

所以我很混乱。。。

很多时候，这些压力的来源并不是来自于工作本身，

而是来自于身边的同事。

我在department里只是个小小新人啊.

为什么要人前一套，人后一套呢？

大家和睦共处的工作不好吗？

没有必要处处咄人...

人家有果酸换肤，而我有晒伤换肤 (Subaru Palm Challenge 2015)

Subaru Palm Challenge 2015 (Malaysia Leg) on the 5th September, 2015

几年前参加过这个活动一次，

为的就是可以赢得一辆Subaru轿车。

其实那时侯也是为了我弟，所以和他一起去参加的。

那时侯我们在网络上报名参加，可是却没有收到通知可以不可以参加；

所以我们是在当天早上接到电话并赶到Pavilion参加的。

那时侯我们都带着烫伤了的手掌回家。

而我在我弟出局后大约15-20分钟就决定弃权并一起回家。

我也忘记了我坚持了多久了。

那是第一次，所以也没有准备任何东西就出了。

今年在radio听到这个消息后就约了我弟一起去挑战。

我以为应该会像之前一样，

只要动了手掌一点点就会被判出局，所以并没有做好任何防晒措施。

毕竟我只是志在参与，至少做一些不一样的东西啊。

位置也可能不是很有利。

所以我以为我会很快就出局的

可是他们的形式改变了很多，

我看到其实很多人的手掌都有在移动，

可是却没有人被判出局。

由于当第一个出局的人很丢脸，

所以我在曝晒底下还是坚持了下去。

After all, I endured for 95 minutes.

Can you believe it?!!

I hate to be under the hot sun so much and yet I endured for so long. 

After all, the thought of doing something different kept me endured this experience actually. 

In the end, 我还是第一个出局的人。

无谓的坚持让我的右手臂晒伤了，不，应该是说，我的手臂被晒熟了。

在我的人生里，我第一次感受到原来晒伤是那么的痛的，连我在搽lotion和aloe vera gel的时候轻轻的搽过都痛啊~~~到最后，我连烫伤膏都拿来搽，可是到了晒伤的第三天了，
我的手臂还是很红，也还有一点痛。

所以我开始帮我的手臂服mask和搽小麦草。

小麦草粉干了以后让我觉得自己好像The Hulk. 

 这是搽了我很珍惜的bubble mask以后。

可是做了那么多以后，

我的手臂还是很红，可是照片看不太出来。

而这张照片就是我的
“人家有果酸换肤，而我有晒伤换肤 ”
的照片啦。。

我以后不敢小看防晒lotion的威力了，
因为我一直以来都觉得防晒只是搽来保心安，没有实际的功效。

也可能是因为我都不会在大太阳底下待太久，

所以就分不出有搽防晒和没搽防晒的分别咯。。。

其实我没有试过被晒伤。。。

可是这一次，我也不知道我自己为什么那么有毅力的在太阳底下曝晒了95分钟。

事情过了以后，我回家的后果就是看着我那熟透了的手臂。

而且啊，我一整个星期都不敢穿短袖的衣服上班。

因为我的手臂真的夸张的恐怖。

一个星期过后，

我的手臂出现了脱皮的状况，

标题也是看到了脱皮状况而突发奇想的。

“人家有果酸换肤，而我有晒伤换肤”

但是我的换肤情况好像把我的手变得更黑了。

我那珍贵的白皙的皮肤啊。

我的朋友都知道我对白皙的皮肤有多么的执著。

可是这一次，我真的真的不知道我自己为什么那么有毅力的在太阳底下曝晒了95分钟。

我那时候很可能是疯了吧。。。

ps:这是第二个星期了，我还是不敢穿短袖上班。。。

what you want vs. what you need

I discovered something that I think I should have discovered them long time ago recently. 

To put them in simple words, it was realizing that what you want and think that it was good for you might not actually be the best for you and you actually don't need it.

Nowadays, I sincerely believed that God has a time for everything and before you are ready, the time for what you want might not come to you or might not happen at all.

Maybe you just have to get ready for the things that you wanted to happen so that you're ready when it does happen.  

Yet, I shuddered whenever I think about it because I'm worried that my ultimate goal might not happen at all. 

But there's no point worrying something that's so... should I say far? No, maybe something distant, no, hmm, I can't find the right word because I'm moving towards it in my own pace because I really want it to happen. Perhaps God is trying to arrange a time for it to happen too.      

At the same time,
 I don't mean that you can do nothing and wait for something miracle to happen in your life

although miracles do happen, I believed in it without any doubt. 

But maybe, the reason that what I wanted the most in my life didn't happen because I wasn't ready for it. There is this "one" thing that I have always wanted "it" to happen in my life because I think that "it" eventually makes me one step closer to the "ultimate goal" in my life and that's definitely a dream come true for me.
I think I'll be the happiest person on earth the day it happens.

I'm not going to say what are they. 

But I have to say that the "ultimate goal" has been in my mind since I was pretty young till today, probably when I was around 13 or 14. I don't remember when did it happen exactly but it was definitely before I turned 15.

I didn't really tell anyone about it other than my family members until recently. 

Maybe because I'm in my process of individuation and I don't feel awkward about telling it to some of my friends anymore and I don't care about what they might think of me after telling them about  what's my "ultimate goal". 

and YES, I'm not going to type it out publicly here because I wasn't ready and I can admit this.    

So maybe, I was just not ready before and I'm going towards being ready for "that" to happen because I came across something online saying that "what you think may be the right answer is actually not the best one." I think that maybe the same scenario is happening in my life where what I think I want and the right answer on my life is actually not the best one for me and maybe, God knows what's better for me and I am actually getting what's the best for me rather than what I think is good for me. 

I don't know. 

Because I will continue to work on getting to my "ultimate goal" and if God allows it, 

it might just mean that I was ready for it and that's what's best for me.  

This year is my year?

Because of my thyroid issues, I developed some severe side effects from the medications that I took because it inhibits the production of my white blood cells and caused me to have tonsillitis. I was admitted to the hospital for about 5 days and it should be longer actually. But I chose to just go home and rest because the fees were crazily high despite the fact that I'm using my medical card. 

Even though I was warned that I'm prone to infection and shouldn't go home, 

I still choose to go home. 

After all, my family went Genting during the hari raya holidays. 

So only my sister and I were at home and my sister was the one who took care of me primarily in that weekend.

Then, I rested at home for another week to really feel better and went for few follow-ups before I go to work in my dad's office. 

But the follow-up services were so poor and I wasn't properly informed of my treatment plan actually. I was angry but I choose not to say anything because I'm not going to continue my treatment there given their attitudes and services.

I was really grateful because Dr. Richard helped me to get an opportunity to seek for a second opinion from Dr. Foo for my thyroid issues. I was told that I don't have to go for an operation neccesarily because there is other option available. 

After the consultation, I have decided that I will be doing a radioactive iodine treatment because that's what they usually do according to Dr Foo. 

&

Hopefully the RAI treatment will work on me since it has a success rate of 90%. 

I don't want to be a minority any more because I was told that very few people developed the side effects that I had after taking the thyroid medications!

After the RAI treatment, I was told that I might have to isolate myself. 

Some people told me that I might be admitted while some people told me that I don't have to be admitted.

Hmm, will see how it goes when I go for the treatment on Monday, 03/08/2015.
and I really think that God has a time for everything in life.
My sister actually went traveling which allows me to quarantine myself in my own room and I don't have to worry about her/try to find out what we can do about me. 

Because of the treatment, I can't go report for work on 03/08/2015!

At first, I thought maybe I can go the next day, but if I were to isolate myself, that means I can't!

So, what do I do then?

The job that I found after so long and so much hardship might just leave me because of my health.

Then my dad told me that I should have asked to start work after all my treatments. 

Otherwise, find a new job if they don't allow. 

In my mind, I was thinking does my dad know how hard it is to find a job that I want?

But I know he cares for me and health is more important than anything else. 

Then, I emailed the person in charge and she didn't reply me until 3 days later. 

The reply was positive because the faculty agreed to let me start mid August!

Wow, that was really good news for me and when I told one of my friends, she said that this year is my year man! 

Despite a turmoil and stormy month I had, better things seemed to fall together. 

I read somewhere saying that

 "sometimes, good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."

People often cry when good things fell apart and it was like the end of the world when it happens. I used to be like this too, I can't let go when good things fall apart because I want to hold on to them. Who doesn't? 

How can I let beautiful things go away from me, right?

But, it never really crossed my mind that maybe better things are coming and good things had to fall apart so that better things can fall together. 

I always thought that bad things are coming or forming because good thing fell apart.   

Well the reality is, that's not always the case.  

But balance, good and bad things will happen and maybe there's no such thing as good and bad too. It really depends on how we view things to be good or bad.

For me, being admitted to the hospital was such a bad thing for me because I felt so sad that my parents had to come and visit me and taking care of me. It didn't feel good being weak. 

At the same time, I also felt sorry because I'm making them feeling worried for me. 

But life goes on, I guess both good and bad things are going to happen continuously just like the yin and yang in life and it really depends on how you view them. Like me, I get to rest when I was admitted and it was really boring for me!

03/08/2015

I had the RAI treatment today and I have to quarantine myself till next Monday.
Also, the doctor told me that I will have to be on medications for a lifetime because RAI does destroy all my thyroid glands. And if this RAI didn't destroy all of them, I might have to repeat RAI after 6 months and it really depends on individuals.
Hopefully I can be cured with further RAI!
Hmm, rather than having to go for an operation, I think that RAI is better since both procedures will leave me having to be on medications for a lifetime.
Be positive! =)
这次还真的是先在家休息和可以无所事事的睡觉和看戏然后再开始工作了。

It's about Singapore again... 17 - 21 June 2015

I have the opportunity travelling to Singapore again mid-June because of a conference and I was actually looking towards it.

And I'm back, few days ago. It took me some time to write this because I was sick and things were going on. I don't seemed to have enough rest, but I'm writing this. This was my first conference and I was actually surprised that wines were served at the end of each day. It was fun meeting people from different countries and listening to their experiences in counseling. I enjoyed the chatting sessions!

This post was kinda delayed and delayed because of my health issues. Now that I feel better and healthier, I want to complete this happy post as soon as possible. =) Owh, I have been neglecting this for so long~~~

Well, other than the conference, I actually have the opportunity to stay in Marina Bay Sands Singapore this time round, which is also a prestigious hotel. It was famous for it's infinity pool and also a sky park. When I went to Singapore with Jeng Mun in January, we were standing opposite this hotel admiring the magnificent building and discussed how we wished to stay there the next time we visit Singapore. Well this time round, it was a wish came true and I stayed in there and I actually asked my friend to join me since good things are meant to be shared and happiness are meant to be shared! My cousins will be there too!

The stated check-in time is 3 pm but I reached around 2 pm and they allowed me to check-in. So it was good, but they don't have a room which is on the same level as my cousin. I was reluctant to take the room at first, but anyway, because I'm too tired, I took the room. It was on tower 3, level 33. My cousin's room is on level 39. Hmm, level 33 is not a good level because I have to transfer to another escalator to go to level 57 for the infinity pool and sky park. But compared to those with a lower level, maybe level 33 is not too bad at all. The air conditioning in the room was great because it was too cold that I have to open the balcony door to lower the temperature of the room and it actually has a smart design that when you actually open the balcony door, the air condition will be stopped. 

My room was facing the Garden's by the Bay. It was a good view because it's not noisy during the night. Here are some of the pictures I took using a selfie stick for the FIRST time!

My skill was not that good. But I guess you can still see the garden? ;p

The infinity pool!!!

It was actually quite gloomy that afternoon and it was COLD up there!

My friend, Lai Ying. 

The morning before we check out. =)

The weather was much better and I can feel the heat merely by looking at this picture!

The very first night there!

My cousin and I.

We were resting in my cousin's room while waiting for her brother...

Lai Ying didn't want to get into the pool originally but ended up with me in the pool... lol

The night scenery was really great! We can even see the merlion up there!
But it was really COLD~~~

Then, on Saturday morning, my cousin brought me to a cafe named Common Man Coffee  Roasters.
However, this cafe was not as common as it's named.
The food there was really nice and my cousin said that they provide the best coffee around there.
This place is so famous that queuing is common there and there were people come and go.
It was really busy and I think the owner there doesn't have to worry about having no business/customers.

 My hot chocolate. =)

Our Turkish breakfast. 

The portion was really big and I was feeling so full after finishing everything. 

Someone told me that this is expensive and doesn't worth it but I think the prices are around the same as KL's cafe and if you don't convert, it wasn't really expensive, I think. 

Another highlight of my trip to Singapore is this, 

LLAO LLAO!

I'm sure you have heard me saying this because llao llao is only available in Singapore and the "raffaello" sauce is so nice!!!

My cousins are llao llao's big fan too~~~
I have had llao llao 3 times when I was there this time!

The journey comes to an end on that Sunday where CK was so nice to send me off to the airport...

We had a quick lunch before I came back to Malaysia at Terminal 3, but I don't remembered the name of the fried chicken that we had! Oh my, I have left this post for too long!

But the fried chicken was really nice and I really enjoyed it so much! But it can be very heaty because it's fresh from the oil! They are at the right size and I was able to finish all 3 of them.

Look who I met when I was in Terminal 3!!!

Hahaha, it was a surprise for me. 

This trip was so tiring for me that the moment I boarded the plane, I dozed off! Gosh, can you imagine that? I didn't even finish watching the air stewardess' safety measures and what to do if emergency happens. I tried so hard to remained my eyes open but I failed. My eyes weren't in my control at all! And the strangest thing is, I don't usually sleeps in plane because I don't feel comfortable and I just can't get any sleep when I'm in a plane in the past.

When I actually woke up, it was due to the announcement by the captain asking cabin crew to get ready for landing. What?

Hmm. I guess this trip was maybe just too tiring for me and I walked too much maybe?

粽子*榴槤*神秘禮物

因為在端午節期間去了一趟新加玻，所以我只吃到了一顆粽子而已!
粽子是我最愛吃的季節性食品啊~~~
心理很不平衡。。。
可是這樣的不平衡心態很快就被榴槤給化解了，
我在兩個星期里，差不多每天都在吃榴槤。
我因為怕熱氣和喉嚨痛，所以我非常的勤勞的在和鹽水和蜂蜜水。
但是惡夢終於都發生了， 我在上星期六就已經感覺到不舒服了，可是我心想，很可能就只是發熱氣而已啦，吃了panadol應該就會好了吧。
但是直到星期日為止，我只感覺到我的喉嚨約來約痛，連吞下食物都不行。這幾天的睡眠品質也很不好。
星期一一大早， 我第一件做的事就是去看醫生， 為什麼星期日不去看嗎?我去到的時候他們已經不收病人了，話說醫生也感時間。
Haih...
終於在星期一看到醫生時，他說either進醫院吊點滴或是吃他給的藥。

我不是已經說了嗎！我的喉嚨痛到也腫脹到很大，我也覺得很難受了。
他問我要去selayang還是parkcity的醫院時，我立刻說我要去parkcity，因為我真的等不到太久了， 我一回到家就叫醒我姐，大約等了半小時候，她就準備好了，當我从客廳走到車的半路不到， 我連站都站不穩，雙腳都還在抖。我還要我爸扶著我上車。
雖然parkcity說近不近說遠不遠，但是那段路好像真的很長!!!
幸好當時只有我一個人啊! 但是她們在took some time to register me and poked an IV line for me after measuring my bp,pulse, and temperature. 我竟然燒到40.7℃啊～
Pulse140++,因為我還沒有吃我hyperthyroidism的藥。。。
過後她們也給了我paracetamol來減低我的body temperature...
其實她們在外面討論我的bloodtestresult時，我都有聽到一點點，但是又不一定是真的。
過後，在A&E的MO就跟我說要在抽多一次血來驗多一次。
報告出來以後， 那個MO說我很可能性有leukaemia,因為我的bloodcount全部都很低，抱括了我的WBC&RBC...我的WBC低到只剩下0.4-0.6罷了。。。
我聽到了以後其實還蠻害怕的， 但是過后當他們發現到原來他們overlooked了我的hyperthyroidism和我爸爸是thalassemia carrier時， 他們就知道應該不會是leukaemia了。。。
我當下松了一口氣啊。。。
大約12中午， 在A&E待了大約3個小時后， 我進到了病房。 可是我真的很不習慣。。。
醫生說，他admit我是因為viral infection,因為我正在吃的hyperthyroidism的藥使我的immune system变差了。。。

Blessing in Disguises

Well, it has been a difficult year for me, 

I'm turning 29, and what was happening through these few months weren't really exactly what I thought it would be...

I graduated from my masters last year, 

then I thought I would like to start my PhD and get a job.  

But, getting a decent job offer was difficult, 

there were interviews, but no news actually came back to me.

The amount of applications I made were really a lot that I actually lost count... 

I was so desperate last month that my friends and I scheduled a trip to Genting just to get drunk. 

*Iknowthisisnotagoodbehavior*

The reason was I have never been drunk, 

so I thought maybe getting drunk might help me to forget things that are happening now... like being jobless...

All my other friends were kinda employed and started working, 

I feel happy for them... But I also felt even more desperate...

Well I'm not exactly jobless, I know many people thought I do, 

but I was actually helping in my dad's office and doing some volunteering work.

Last month, there was also a moment that I just felt like leaving Malaysia and go for a long holiday maybe... 

But I quickly realized that trying to get away from all these is not a good idea, 

so I continued to send job applications...

Then, a "strange" part-time offer came in, it wasn't a good offer,
and things ended up quite awfully. 

I felt abandonment, so I was quite unhappy... 

Then this week, my birthday falls on a Friday, 12/6, and I'm turning 29 before I'm 30. 

On Monday, I received a call from a company and scheduled an interview on Tuesday, 

an email scheduling an interview on Thursday. 

Then I realized maybe losing the part-time job is a blessing in disguise. 

and I stopped feeling bad about it. 

But I was lost on Thursday and was late for my interview... 

*ohcrap*

Then,

on Thursday, 

I was officially diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and I started taking medications right away. 

But on that very evening, I received a call saying that my offer letter was out!

OH MY GOSH!!!

I was like what, another blessing in disguise? I really can't believe it!!!

Although things are unofficial for now, but I think it really is a blessing before I actually turned 29...

Then I told everyone who are close with me about this because it's so exciting!!!

My family also celebrated my 29th birthday on Thursday night itself, 

and I started thinking that can anyone's life get any better... 

*PraisetheLord*

Friday evening,my cousin told me about promotions in Marina Sand Bay Singapore since I'm going to Singapore next week for a conference. The promotion was really good and I will spend a night there. It was really a great promotion and I'm really excited about it right now. 

Again, could anyone's life be any better than this? 

All these blessings in disguise... How can I not love it? 

Just like the Chinese idiom, 塞翁失马，焉知非福.
At the same time, I am reminding myself of being moderate and to avoid 乐极生悲.
After all, I am beginning to be independent finally. =)

On Friday night, I went dinner with my friends and we had a wonderful night together!

Therefore, here I am at 1:13am, not asleep, I know this is not good for my health, so I better finish this fast and move on...

This is me, making a wish, hopefully,
the dreams come true day will come to us at the right moment. =)

This was such a memorable week for me because there were so many ups and downs,

what I actually learned from this experience was to Be Grateful of everything we have and what we faced each day because we never really know whether these are blessings in disguise/an experience that help us grow...

It's just that we have not realized it in the way it should be...
If you believe that everything happen in our life for a reason...

Have faith, 

everything will get better each day. 

Faith.

p/s: This is another counting my blessings post. I think I will keep doing this.

The Owls Cafe

这间cafe位于Bukit Jalil, 因为在Serdang的公公家做对年，

所以就在仪式完了以后顺便到这里喝茶，

毕竟如果从我家到这里的话实在是太远了。

而且我也大概是第一次排队排了那么久，

排了45分钟才进到店里。

整整的45分钟啊~~~

平时的我是不可能会这样排队吃东西的。

可是既然都来到了，

所以唯有硬着头皮的等啦。

平时我通常都会make reservations，就是要避免这样等。

当然也有一些地方是没有reservation system的，

通常如果是这样的店我都会早到/有时候经过看到没有人的时候才进去吃/直接选其他的。

没有必要一定要吃到。

如果是一定要吃到的话就会选择当最早到的客人。

这里的食物不算便宜，

和一般cafe的价钱相差不大，

所以对我来说，偶尔吃一吃这些就好了。

上面的macaroon很不错，雪糕也很特别，

尤其是一个不懂什么口味的，

就是那只有一球雪糕的waffle的上面，

很好吃，又不会太甜，吃进口里有微微的香气，

太不错了！

这里是很适合拍照的地方，

我也发掘了我电话的新拍照功能，

大概可能是我太低能忙了吧，

*开玩笑，怎么可能*

所以用了大约一年才发现到自己的手机有这样的功能。。。

淑云也用了她手机的新app来帮我拍照，

这些照片简直就很有feel!!!

所以我也很做作的扮成忧郁样...lol

忽然觉得自己还蛮不错的嘛，

很久没有这么做作的拍照了.

还是宝刀未老。

*忽然觉得自己好老噢*

当然也要谢谢淑云不厌其烦的帮我拍照啦~~~

p/s: 淑云是谁？她是我弟的太太啦！

This is a counting my blessings post.

"Beautiful"/Confusing Quotes

最近看到一些很有意义的quotes,

"Life is not about finding yourself, it's about CREATING yourself."

So, what do I want to become?

I asked myself when I saw the quote.

I am not sure and I don't know.

That's my answer to the question.

After putting some thoughts in it, I realize that since I am creating myself, I can choose whatever I want to do.

Be it escaping from the issues here or trying to live a better live elsewhere,

I should get to choose.

Yes, I choose.

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly to anywhere in the world. Then, I asked myself the same question. "

我，

对号入座了。

"Don't count the days, make everyday counts."

This is so hard. 

芭蕾&Orchestra

在没有任何expectation之下我去看了这场表演，

可是他们的第一首歌就已经让我觉得很震撼。

他们开始得很顺，虽然我的音乐造诣不高，

但是我听得出他们的表演很好听。=）

而且还有女高音和芭蕾舞者的表演。

他们的表演都很出色，

况且，这是我第一次看到现场真人的芭蕾舞表演leh...

而且还是专业的表演~~~

这太过令我惊喜了，=）

而且他们表演得很精湛，

女主角的脚应该很痛吧，

她必须用脚尖来平衡自己（踮脚站很久）和转圈，

但是我也见识到了芭蕾舞者的坚持，

他们一定坚持了很久才有今天的舞功吧。。。

而且她未免也太瘦了，

应该和Black Swan里的女主角一样，

为了不发胖而每天只靠一颗苹果来为生的那种diet吧。。。

但是overall，我很满意那天的这样的一个机会，

I guess this might be the something that's beautiful in my everyday life.

*cherish.appreciate.blessings*

“死”

今天和我妈吵了几句，

原因不重要，

重要的是她常常都会说她去死了会更好，

因为没有人会再烦我们了。

对我来说，我没有这样的意思，

我只是告诉她，

“很多时候，她说的话只会令对方和她吵架，

那不如不说更好，因为吵架很烦，很累。”

当她说她要去死的时候，

我想，其实只要我不在就好啦。。。

只不过种种原因让我不得不留在这里，

如果有机会，我早就离开了，

不会留在这个鬼地方的。

可是我并没有告诉她我的想法，

因为这对她来说并不重要。

而且我已经在一步步的朝我要的方向了，

所以，我只需要等到时机成熟就可以。

现在的我只能一直忍，忍，忍好了。

PS:那时候的我好想立刻到飞机场买张机票，立刻飞离这里，而我的目的地是美国纽约，因为我想看一看Statue of Liberty和问一问，我何时才可以得到真正的liberty.

Re-living childhood fairy tales...

I'm sure many of us knew & watched the recent Cinderella movie which smashed the box office. 

Although some of my friends said that they don't understand why the movie was film again despite the cartoon version. After all, the story line will be the SAME...

Well I have to admit that what they said were right and the story line is more or less the same rather than some minor differences... For example, the Father of the prince in the original version of Cinderella was not dead and witnessed their wedding and, the fairy godmother in the cartoon version chanted the spells even better when she was giving Cinderella a new look...

Overall, the story remained the same as the cartoon version. 

After all, if we were told that the prince will not be with Cinderella in the end of the movie, will we still want to watch it?

The answer is a NO for me, personally. 

What I actually want to say is that Disney decided to re-film more fairy tales such as Beauty & the Beast, Mulan, Little Mermaid, & etc...

I'm very excited about it and I can't wait to watch them in the cinema. 

I guess maybe because the recent Cinderella smashed box office which allows them to re-film all the fairy tales. 

Yes, I do aware that I am a grown up now, but nothing can stop me from re-living my childhood fairy tales by watching the new movies~~~    

Dream

Yesterday, I dreamed that I finally confronted my mother after all these years of injustice... 

She was very angry both emotionally and at me for confronting her...

I don't know where did I gather the courage to actually confront her, 

maybe because I was too stressed out recently and I am deadly to know why didn't she support me to study abroad rather than dumping $$$ into renovating the stupid house?

Does gender matters that much?

If the person who wanted to study abroad was my brother, will she change her mind?

What am I supposed to do with it?

Do I not deserve a better future?

Do I not deserve to study abroad?

Am I supposed to accept all these crap and pretends nothing has happened and try to live happily in the future despite all these crap?

Will I be able to accept all these and life with it? 

Do I really want to confront her?

Yes, I do because if I don't, there'll always be something in my heart. 

But if I do, maybe she'll get really angry and things will get really ugly, am I ready to face this?

Do I want to put myself into that situation?

Interesting Website

I found out about this website after a friend shared their articles in FB, 

while reading through the article, 

I find what the author wrote about therapy & therapist were so true...

therefore, I would like to share the link here...

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12657/10-things-i-wish-everyone-knew-about-therapy.html

There are also many other interesting articles in the website which I find it good to read if you don't really know anything about talk therapy... 

At the same time, there were also articles about self-help, which I think that it can be helpful for many people, including myself...

Therefore, visit this website if you have time~~~

It might surprise you... =)

See You Again (Paul Walker) - Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth

This song was a tribute to Paul Walker who filmed most of the Fast & Furious series...
At the same time, in the end of Fast & Furious 7, Paul Walker's character, Brian O'Conner was said to be raising his family and children and maybe move on in his family life...
他华丽的退场了。。。
虽然他的人不在了，可是他还活在大家的心中；
这也代表着他还没有真正的死去吧。。。
能够让人怀念和活在人的心中也代表着他永远不会被遗忘吧。。。
我其实真的很高兴他可以华丽退场，而不是在电影死去，
因为这让我对电影里的故事拥有完美的记忆。。。
I copied & pasted the lyrics below from the internet and I BOLD the paragraphs that touch me the most. Actually, I like the whole song because of the meaningful lyrics and I felt very touch while listening to the song as the song was sang by such soulful voice. I think that this is such a nice song that it actually reflects the death of Paul Walker and how might the remaining living people think about him and miss him, and it also fulfills the Fast & Furious' theme of FAMILY. =)

It's been a long day without you my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again

Damn who knew all the planes we flew
Good things we've been through
That I'll be standing right here
Talking to you about another path I
Know we loved to hit the road and laugh
But something told me that it wouldn't last
Had to switch up look at things different see the bigger picture
Those were the days hard work forever pays now I see you in a better place

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side
And now you gonna be with me for the last ride

It's been a long day without you my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
when I see you again

First you both go out your way
And the vibe is feeling strong and what's
Small turn to a friendship a friendship
Turn into a bond and that bond will never
Be broke and the love will never get lost
And when brotherhood come first then the line
Will never be crossed established it on our own
When that line had to be drawn and that line is what
We reach so remember me when I'm gone

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side
And now you gonna be with me for the last ride

So let the light guide your way hold every memory
As you go and every road you take will always lead you home

It's been a long day without you my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again

And, I don't know why I find Fast & Furious 7 was the saddest movie among the series. Probably because of Paul Walker's death even though this movie gave his character in the movie a happily ever after ending.