what you want vs. what you need

I discovered something that I think I should have discovered them long time ago recently. 

To put them in simple words, it was realizing that what you want and think that it was good for you might not actually be the best for you and you actually don't need it.

Nowadays, I sincerely believed that God has a time for everything and before you are ready, the time for what you want might not come to you or might not happen at all.

Maybe you just have to get ready for the things that you wanted to happen so that you're ready when it does happen.  

Yet, I shuddered whenever I think about it because I'm worried that my ultimate goal might not happen at all. 

But there's no point worrying something that's so... should I say far? No, maybe something distant, no, hmm, I can't find the right word because I'm moving towards it in my own pace because I really want it to happen. Perhaps God is trying to arrange a time for it to happen too.      

At the same time,
 I don't mean that you can do nothing and wait for something miracle to happen in your life

although miracles do happen, I believed in it without any doubt. 

But maybe, the reason that what I wanted the most in my life didn't happen because I wasn't ready for it. There is this "one" thing that I have always wanted "it" to happen in my life because I think that "it" eventually makes me one step closer to the "ultimate goal" in my life and that's definitely a dream come true for me.
I think I'll be the happiest person on earth the day it happens.

I'm not going to say what are they. 

But I have to say that the "ultimate goal" has been in my mind since I was pretty young till today, probably when I was around 13 or 14. I don't remember when did it happen exactly but it was definitely before I turned 15.

I didn't really tell anyone about it other than my family members until recently. 

Maybe because I'm in my process of individuation and I don't feel awkward about telling it to some of my friends anymore and I don't care about what they might think of me after telling them about  what's my "ultimate goal". 

and YES, I'm not going to type it out publicly here because I wasn't ready and I can admit this.    

So maybe, I was just not ready before and I'm going towards being ready for "that" to happen because I came across something online saying that "what you think may be the right answer is actually not the best one." I think that maybe the same scenario is happening in my life where what I think I want and the right answer on my life is actually not the best one for me and maybe, God knows what's better for me and I am actually getting what's the best for me rather than what I think is good for me. 

I don't know. 

Because I will continue to work on getting to my "ultimate goal" and if God allows it, 

it might just mean that I was ready for it and that's what's best for me.