那天啊,有朋友在 FB post 了一个有关“爱”的个人言论;
其实,我一直以来对“爱”的解读就是“爱”是没有一定的定义的。
对我来说,“爱”只是一种感觉;
会让人的大脑产生dopamine的感觉;
是个人的感觉,令人感觉开心,愉快等等好的心情。
很多人都尝试着要把“爱”quantified;
可是对我来说“爱”是很难拿来把它给measurable的。
因为难道结婚了以后,
有一天,忽然觉得不爱了,就离婚了吗?
对我来说,很奇怪。
所以,"爱"真的还蛮难懂的。
也有人在 FB post 了这样的一句话,
"Love is giving someone the power to destroy you trusting that him/her wouldn't."
那么“爱”的定义又不同了。
因为这里面有trust,
那么是不是“爱”又要有trust的成分才可以是“爱”?
只是感觉的一部分还不足够吗?
先说回我朋友的理解,
他大概的意思是“我爱你因为我爱我自己”。
原因是
"some people feel good when they love,
and sense of belonging could be one of the human needs,
they love because it's reinforcing and it satisfies their needs,
they love themselves so they do what
makes them feel good and satisfied.
some people cannot let go of someone in the past,
perhaps that relationship acted like a drug,
they liked the pleasure given by the people so when they lost it
they were frustrated at the person for taking away the thing that made them so good,
claiming that "i love you so much, don't leave me"
maybe the underlying message was just
"you satisfies me, don't take away my pleasure" (Yap, 2012).
这是他的看法。
对我来说,我也觉得很make sense。
可是这样的话,“爱”就是自私的啦。
因为人只是想要满足自己的needs而已。
那么那些一直放不开ex-s的人,
是不是因为他们还没有找到别的可以satisfy到他们的人事物,
所以才那样呢?
那,那些单身的人,
是不是因为他们不需要“爱”来满足他们的生活呢?
所以,
到最后,“爱”还是没有一定的定义;
就看自己怎样去解读和理解。