我在FB看到一篇很有意思的故事。个人觉得它很meaningful.
因为我也曾经被问过类似的问题,
我觉得她的答案有把我的一些想法accurately的translate出来。
有一些则还留在我的脑里。
而我也并不是全然认同她所说的。
虽然她说的一些东西是我还没有做到的,
但是我相信我未来会成为她口中所说的女人。
故事是这样的,
"In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he
was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?'
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?'
Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.'
She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.
She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.
I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.
And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.
When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot.
She replied, "I'm worth a lot"."
最后的那一句更是经典啊~~~
很多时候人都没有想过要先爱自己,
因为我们的文化都在教育我们牺牲自己,奉献自己,
牺牲小我,成全大我。
但是我学到了要先爱自己,才可以爱别人的哲学。
所以regardless of how my close family member told me how not worthy I am,
I choose to believe that I WORTH a LOT.
No one can determine my worthiness except myself.
If I don't see myself as worthy, I cannot expect others to appreciate me.
很多女人结了婚以后除了工作以外都会担起做家务的责任。
但是没有小孩的时候还好,
有了小孩后,家务量会提升;
很多女人也会觉得不要计较,自己把所有事情包办好,
老公很可能只是跟小孩玩,
不帮忙做家务,更别说照顾小孩的起居饮食。
我在FB很常看到一些女性朋友在抱怨这件事。
然后说自己也有工作上的压力,
为什么他们的老公都不帮忙“照顾”小孩。
我个人是接受不到这样的形式来生活的。
因为这样做的女人很可能会敖出病。
而且你想一想,她们只是希望她们的先生可以"帮忙"照顾小孩,分担家务。
请看好,是分担,不是平分。
我看到很多女人是希望先生可以帮轻她们的重担,
她们并没有说,你有赚钱,我也有,
所以家务什么的都要分得一清二楚。
我觉得很多女人因为爱而把重担往自己的肩上挑,
希望你们可以坚持啊!
有人会说,现在的女人很霸道,一直要求男女平等。
但是我看到的是很多女人在家庭和事业两头烧的情况下并不是在要求着男女平等,
而是在“乞求”自己爱的人可以体谅、珍惜她们,
主动的帮忙和分担家务和照顾小孩。
看好,是主动。
如果被要求才做,那不是主动。
如果有在工作的女人真的在家里要求完整的男女平等的话,
我猜,有很多婚姻都坚持不下去了吧?
我管不到别人的牺牲精神,
但是我是不能接受这样的。
其实说得再粗俗一点,
就是我不需要一个只会负责提供精子的男人。
因为如果我须要的话,我会去找sperm bank,
还可以选quality.
偶然在FB看到的,分享一下下。
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